• I sit carelessly on the stiff chair. The metal legs make a clicking sound against the hard floor. I look down on the paper in front of me and make a paper airplane. Bending the corners and measuring the sides, i fold the homework and chuck it across the class. No one cares. I look around. People huddle in groups and talk of inane bullshit they saw or heard that they think is funny and might impres others. I roll my eyes in a bitchy manner. No one cares. I look at the ceiling and start counting the titles. Six, eight, forty-eight, plus some other tiles in the corner. Fifty-six. I am out of things to do. No one cares. I stand up and aproach a group. They are flashing their utra-cool cellphones with the little ‘B’ blinking on their screens. Probably some trite bullshit of a chick sticking a dildo up her ass. Who cares? No one, including me. I want to say something but everyone is too much busy looking at their Nokias, with some pansy jumping around on the TFT screen. I don’t care, and go back to my seat. I stare at my watch and the class won’t end for another 30 minutes. The teacher left and is probably doing coke lines in the bathroom, because i wsure would if I taught a class full of rich idiots. I begin to think of hot’n’sexy. Damn i want to tit bang her. Then my train of though stops at a stop called Future. What is waiting for me in the future? The hell am i to do after college. What college is it going to be? Damn, she got into Harvard. What the hell? I want to be accepted to Harvard just so i can send them a rejection letter. I wonder how many of those they’ve gotten. What the hell would be my major? Economics? Law? Forestry? Basket weaving? Definitely not law.

• I doze off for a while. I wake up. No one cares. How much time has passed? Is the class going to end any time soon. Everyone is still watching the damn 3gp video. I remember my train. Right, my future job. I decide.

• Being the epitome of cool, awesome, intelect, and wit that i think know i am, i decide to become… *gasp* *a child’s cry*… The Authority on everything.

• That’s right, i will become an authority on everything and everyone. Anyone has a question, a doubt, an idea? Bring it to me and i will decide if it is bullshit. I imagine sitting on a great hill, with clouds beneath my feet. People from all around the world come to see me and hear me out. Philosophers, lawyers (no not lawyers), doctors, teachers, peasents, anyone. They bring me their troubles and issues and i hear it. I think for a minute, sitting with my thumb up my ass. I say smething equally mind-boggling, witty, funny, and revolutionary. The man bows and leaves.

• “What is the meaning of life?” a man asks.

• “Nothing, dickface.”

• Whoa, that would kick ass. Maybe then these dipshits won’t waste time prancing around during TOK class with their Bluetooth on, arguing with me about morals and ethics. Who the hell do they think they are? Aristotle? Sophocles? Screw you! I am the authority. I am the one who knows everything.

• You need to know who is wrong or who is right? Ask me, I know.

• I won’t charge a cent, besides the $2000 entrence fee, and am willing to finally hear you out, you sad fuck.

• Go ahead. Sign up now, and get a free blender.

I read that it took a guy to write from 1 to a 1,000,000, somewhat 10 years (or just a long period of time, because i don’t feel like checking it up) to type on a typewriter. I am here to give a big, fuck you, to that guy for being such a worthless shit for so damn long. I will here by commence on a mission: to write from 1 to 1,000,000 in less than a year. Everyone can participate (and is encouraged to do so, because i really can’t do this on my own). Start:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 921 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200…

Please continue this list by posting the continuation for the sequence on the comments. I am hoping we will reach the million in a year. Today’s date, GMT +6, is 5rd of March, 2006, 21:49. Also, please don’t use any programs or number generators. Don’t be dicks. Be assholes. To be a dick is to be an asshole on a small scale. If you use a number generator, then you are just ruining my shit, but if you just follow the instructions, then you ruin The Stupid Record Holder’s shit and the whole of World Book of Guiness. Please continue, whenever you have time.

• Man, i just realized what a stupid bitch Tyra Banks is. What a haughty whore. (Ooooh, assonance.) Anyways, i was just sitting home as usual doing nothing, probably watching Transformers or playing Tetris, when my mom called for me to watch American’s Next Top Model. All i heard were just screams coming from the TV and so i watched it out of sheer shits and giggles. It was the part when they eliminate the chiks, which is always fun.

• Anyways, the last two chiks stand before her and they know one of them is going to get kicked the fuck out. Tyra stands there talking about her banal bullshit, and then says that both of the chiks are going home. By this time, i am thinking this is fucking awesome. She just totally fucked the two chiks over. One of the chiks (let’s call her white, because i am a bigoted and racist dumbass) went to all her friends and started crying like they all do, but not the other chik (ms. black). Ms. Black went to all her friends and just laughed it off. Then, Tyra calls them back up and tells Ms. White that she liked her reaction, but not Ms. Black’s, because as i understand, she wants the chiks to cry to elevate her self-importance and see that people actually care about her dumbass show no one cares about.

• At this point, i am thinking, “fuck you!” but these were daisies compared to what came next. The balck chik said something about not really caring about the things that she can’t change, and so, doesn’t see the point in crying, and besides, she said she didn’t feel like she was going to accomplish anything anyways. Then, she said something that was probably just meant to piss Tyra off for being the mouth-breathing dipshit that she is. This is when Tyra morfed into Ultar-Bitch. She began screaming like a castrated monkey in heat, with blood and spit going all over.

• I had to call bullshit on this. I didn’t really care what happened after that because i was too damn brain numb. Who the fuck does Tyra think she is? What does she think she does with her show? They are fucking models, the dumbest chiks of the lot. All you need is to stand in front of a camera! But she tries to show it off like a fucking challenge, almost comparing her job to neuro-surgery. And what does she have to yell about? She kept yelling about how this show is important to the girls and should be to Ms. Black as well, because it is such an important profession in the human spectre of humanitarianism. I mean what the fuck does this job do anyways? They are fucking models. All they do is add titties, elegance, and hotness to products i don’t need so they can pass it off as something dire. I mean what the fuck? Why can’t the product sell itself? If i wanted the product, i would buy it myself, and i don’t need your flying feathers, fancy make-up, and push-up bras to let me realize that i need it. FUCK YOU, FASHION INDUSTRY!

• Is Tyra curing cancer? Is she benefiting the society in any way? What does she do, that stupid shit? Nothing! There isn’t even a charity she attends or any way that she helps people with all of the money dumbass corporate marketing managers throw at her to sell their ultra-shimmering, liquid lipstick. Fuck you, mr. marketing manager. Is she fucking solving the problem with world disasters, solving mathematical conundrums that could solve prostate cancer, or even posing nude for men to beat the monkey to? NO! All she is doing is standing in a palitable pose that can sell some shitty product i don’t need. Fuck you Tyra Banks!

1. I don’t need your stupid products
2. Your elegant poses won’t make me want to buy it
3. No one cares about modeling, well at least until they are twelve
4. The show is bullshit as is the fashion industry and modeling
5. You have no right to yell at anybody because you don’t deserve to breath and use up my oxygen
6. You are a selfish, haughty, pretencious, and hypocritical bitch
7. Fuck you
8. I hate you

I wish the destruction of the following things:

• Tyra Banks
• Fashion industry
• Fashion TV
• Modeling
• Models
• Ads with nothing but elegant chiks standing and wearing the product
• The bullshit products
• Ultra-shimmering liquid lipstick
• Tyra Banks

I think i just popped some major artery from being so pissed