To celebrate the return of csmarshal (and csmarshal getting his ass landed back in the land of the rising swastika) I thought I’d let you guys in on how the past two weeks of vacation have been so far. So, I arrived May 13th. Got home. Let myself in. Lights don’t work. Pick up the phone. Nope, doesn’t work either. Turn on the tv. Cable’s been cut off. Go to wash my hands, no water. Well at least I have some juice left in my laptop which means I can use the internet. Ha, tough luck- internet’s gone too. So, task 1: Get shit working again. This will require a car.

• Taxi over to parents’ house
• Take keys to most expensive car available
• Drive off

Car acquired. The entire first week was not spent on lazing around enjoying the summer, but mostly behind a steering wheel of a ridiculously gi-normous German car which i have neither the ability to park properly or have the finances to keep feeding it gallon after gallon of petrol, driving around the city paying bills and getting shit fixed. Lights back on, internet working, water running, phone ringing, tv blaring. I guess I’m set? No. My cousin and her husband hop over the minute I’m about to head out to the pool and tell me they’ve named me godfather of their two little girls. Sigh. Hugs, kisses, wows, yay, hoorays. And just like that the relaxing week I had planned ahead went to shit. At the same time, Dad demands car back. Car gone. New task: find another car

• Taxi to brother’s place
• Ask to borrow a vehicle of some sort to accomodate myself and two little shits

This time I get a fucking 1969 metallic purple vintage VW. AC doesn’t work. At least it’s got a tv. This time, thankfully, it runs a fucking gazillion miles per gallon. Driving a 7 year old and a 5 year old around town to movies and shit is no fun. I don’t understand why they can’t sense the hatred I have inside for them. They fucking love me to bits. Even cried when they left. Shit.

So, the first two weeks have been shit except for the 2 days in cambodia with the mother (she still knows how to rake in the cash at those roulette tables, guys).

Wow, rambling helps. I feel like I can actually start enjoying this summer now. M’right. Toodles. Will post pictures soon.

So…went out to watch the Jays play the Yankees with some of the guys. I’ve got four words for you all. Randy Johnson ate shit. Sadly, no foul balls came our way. We won, though: 10-5. Check it.