For those of you that know me, you probably already know that the title of this post contains a hefty amount of sarcasm. If you didn’t know that then you can screw thine own sister. (thumbs up for those with hot sisters, but sucks for Zhan…and Shinny for that matter). Oh yeah that’s right, I went that far.
And so…I arrived in this steaming hot bowl of kimchi pab dong shisa known as seoul, korea yesterday at 7am (kimchi time). It is now 6:00am kimchi time and yeah I’m still stuck here. Kinda reminds you of…what’s that Tom Hanks flick…Terminal? Here’s the story. My story not Tom Hanks’, you fucknut.

My original flight route was BangCock >>> Kimchi Fuck Shit Kimpab >>> Atlanta >>>Toronto.

Turns out the yanks are scared shitless and now people need a visa just to wait in the terminal for a transit. The people at Korean Air in BangCock, being scrotum poles that they are, decided that they were bored shitless and decided to have some fun and put me on the plane to Kimchi Fuck Shit Kimpab Balls even though I didn’t have a US Transit visa. I And so, I arrive in Kimchi Fucknuts and walk to to the gate to get on the plane to Atlanta and guess what they stop me and asked if I had a green card. Do I look fucking Mexican to you? Does it look like I’m on the lookout for some bucks cleaning other people’s shit in the kitchen of a Chinese takeaway? Someone needs to be invaded via the rectum. Yes.

And so I pull some crazy authority shit involving a phone, the original mr shimofuji and about 5 airline directors with more authority than the King of Togo. I’d rather not put all that on here though since Zhan is still underage to me and his ears are still too brittle for my wild erotic stories of feeling up korean hostesses.

Righteo, so I’m flying direct to Toronto from Kimshit Dicksuck and I leave in approximately 10 hours. I hope you guys are doing well, wherever you all are. Might as well throw in some pics from the summer, eh. Will post some more from Toronto. Adios, bitches.

• Taxi over to parents’ house
• Take keys to most expensive car available
• Drive off

Car acquired. The entire first week was not spent on lazing around enjoying the summer, but mostly behind a steering wheel of a ridiculously gi-normous German car which i have neither the ability to park properly or have the finances to keep feeding it gallon after gallon of petrol, driving around the city paying bills and getting shit fixed. Lights back on, internet working, water running, phone ringing, tv blaring. I guess I’m set? No. My cousin and her husband hop over the minute I’m about to head out to the pool and tell me they’ve named me godfather of their two little girls. Sigh. Hugs, kisses, wows, yay, hoorays. And just like that the relaxing week I had planned ahead went to shit. At the same time, Dad demands car back. Car gone. New task: find another car

• Taxi to brother’s place
• Ask to borrow a vehicle of some sort to accomodate myself and two little shits

This time I get a fucking 1969 metallic purple vintage VW. AC doesn’t work. At least it’s got a tv. This time, thankfully, it runs a fucking gazillion miles per gallon. Driving a 7 year old and a 5 year old around town to movies and shit is no fun. I don’t understand why they can’t sense the hatred I have inside for them. They fucking love me to bits. Even cried when they left. Shit.

So, the first two weeks have been shit except for the 2 days in cambodia with the mother (she still knows how to rake in the cash at those roulette tables, guys).

Wow, rambling helps. I feel like I can actually start enjoying this summer now. M’right. Toodles. Will post pictures soon.

Komail, Zain, Chris in the cab

Post, Markus during pre-drink

Aaron, Suj caught frenching

Komail stealing all the hot bitches

Arm, Markus, Komail, Chris, Zain at the club

Too many names to mention, at the club

Arm, Chris, Zain on Yonge St.

Arm on the way home

Arm, Zain cigging outside Pizza Pizza

• The rules are easy: pick one out of the three freaks pointed out in the pic and you can be him/her for the day! Huzzah for Israel!

Your choices are:

1. Outcast that recently got booted from his previous highschool and does not fit in his new environment. Strives hard to be an asshole but constantly fails.
2. Blonde hottie. ‘Nuff said.
3. Retarded hooker-addict. You know, the one in the morning, two in the evening type.

A bunch of pictures I thought I’d share with you folks. (Click to enlarge)

Note: the block(s) that isn’t (aren’t) crossed out is (are) the one(s) I actually have to and do attend since it’s (they) a (are) tutorial(s)