I know you squeal monkeys mastebate furiously whenever i put up a new post, so let me save you the time of searching for my best works. I here compile yet another list. This list, however, is about my posts. My favorite posts are down below, from best to smile-inducing (the link is opened in a new window).

1. Hobos and Danik getting their shit ruined (i seriously love this article because it just shows what idiots you people are)
2. Quotes
3. The truth behind my true identity
4. My favourite joke
5. Kazakh stupidity
6. I wouldn’t be so much of an asshole if i had this during the some crucial times in the past
7. Guide to COOL
8. Mein Schieze
9. Cool Story
10. Penguins get their shit ruined
11. Schools
12. My best fun fact, i think

This is my list. You may have different tastes, but who cares.

Hi guys, it is I. I just checked out all of the recent comments and came to a brilliant conclusion. CsMarshal is going down. Arm and I are the only people keeping this site running. I post random rants to piss people off, when Arm just talks about his college. Everything else is just a series of comments that spawn out of our posts. How about you guys write something for a change? Something smart, funny, maybe interesting, intelligent, or even sporadic. I don’t need your social science papers here. All i want is just a simple post here and there about music, human character, friends, the site itself, school, or anything that can seem remotely interesting to the reader. Here, i compile a list of types of post you should and are encouraged to do:

• A post about Zhan
• A post about your boobies
• A post about Coke
• A post about school
• A post about things that piss you off (grammar, kids, parents, having to make the bed, etc.)
• A post about making posts
• A post about crazy parties
• A post solely dedicated to a digit or limb
• A humorous post
• A post about a cool website
• A post about jokes
• A post about Zhan
• A post about life and its meaning (i.e. how you can piss without using your hands)
• A post about Arm’s arms
• A post about cartoons such as Ren and Stimpy, Simpsons, Family Guy, or Transformers, and etc.

Here is a list of posts you shouldn’t make:

• A post about a post that you shall post in the future but that you won’t have a chance to post
• A post about Pepsi
• A post about your superior intellect ( i have the ultimate monopoly)
• A post about ruining someone’s shit ( Arm almost has a complete monopoly, but i manage to infiltrate the market here and there)
• A post about the things you found in your navel
• A post exalting teenage TV shows unless they kick ass (the types of TV shows that suck are O.C., Friends, Dharma and Greg, etc.)
• A post about Ben’s arms
• A post about how cool penguins are

Anyways, the point here is that Arm and I post too much on this website. You guys should chip in. So, to commemorate this post, i will hypocritically write more posts in the next hour to a) piss you off, b) be an asshole, c) control the post-monopoly, and d) intertain.

We all seem like logical, clear-thinking people here. Let’s take a look at this in perspective with some obscure math principles and logical fallacies.

1. If a person misspells and fails at sentence structure, then he or she most likely is doing so out of idleness or nonchalant-(ism?), because most people can spell check, or proof-read their statements.
2. The fact that a person is too idle and nonchalant to correct him or herself (ok let’s just go with “herself” given the fact that we are talking about Myrna, and women generally are stupider) means that the person is an idiot.
3. Why is this you ask? Well, it’s because idiots usually don’t give a fuck about correcting themselves, because they know they are idiots, and thus, don’t need to correct themselves because they will remain idiots either way.

This is a pretty weak argument but let me continue. Surely there’s no universal definition of an idiot. Is it a person that doesn’t know as many facts or figures or amount of knowledge that is considered to be standard? Is it a person that cannot follow simple logic or critical thinking? Is it a person that cannot proceed with simple analytical processes? The truth is, no man is an idiot because everyone has their opinion. Also, the truth is, everyone is an idiot if you rely on my opinion. Most people however, generally agree on certain types of idiots, and anyone found falling into any of these categories will be considered, yes, an idiot. So here I compile several categories of idiots and little explanations:

• Subject A (the “I eat paste and laugh sporadically” idiot): Usually found in special-ed classes or in carnivals. He or she likes to do dumbass shit like sticking fingers in outlets, bump into things, yell randomly, and suffer from a disease called pica, which ensues dramatic loss of office supplies, toys, dirt, grass, and small insects. They have a tendency to have poor enunciation, and lack mental capacity. Some of us, like me, call them retards.
• Subject B (the “i-dun-kair-hoe-2-spallz” idiot): We all know one of these people. They are usually found on the internet in MSN, AIM, ICQ, or any other chat program. They are found on blogs and websites of all sorts. We find them in cell phone SMSs, and even on wall graffiti. These bastards abuse the English language to conform with the modern, ‘cool’, ‘I don’t give a shitzzle-for shizzle’, youth demographic, for the fear of being ostracized or being considered to be ‘normal’. Or these anus sniffers are just too pompous to correct themselves. Motherfuckers. I mean something as cool as graffiti now turned to a big ‘FUKC U, Mr WEBSTER!’ YOU IS SPELLED Y-O-U, you dipshit. Is adding another two letters too much of a bitch? And what the fuck is up with words like “kool”? Why can’t you insert the letter ‘c’ you barbarous cuntface? It’s not even a contraction dammit! Fuck you haughty, I-listen-to-the-band-HIM, I-watch-the-O.C., and I-paint-my-nails-black-even-though-I’m-a-guy, motherfuckers! Screw you and your new-age bullshit. Stop pretending to be these mysterious and nonchalant unoriginal demographics. Just cut the crap and learn how to type. I am not telling you to write perfectly correct sentences and spell check every word. I mean if you screw up here and there it’s ok, but don’t fucking misspell words intentionally! Just fuck you guys.
• Subject C (the “mouth-breathing” idiot): These idiots are known for their undeniable characteristic–mouth-breathing. This is a clear sign of an idiot. They can be found anywhere. They are the kind of people that always raise their hand during science and math classes. “But I don’t understand!” You just keep hearing this from their open, Down-syndrome-suffering mouths. They are the kind of people you see in Southern United States, sitting by their trailers, with a shotgun on one lap, and a brown bottle labeled with 3 ‘x’s’ on the other.
• Subject D (the “look-at-me-mommy” idiot): Yes, I am talking about children, the biggest idiots of all, and the interesting thing is that all of the other categories may and do fall into this category. Kids are stupid, period. They are not innocent, cute, or amusing. They ruin clothes, houses, possessions, lives, and Rostiks. Don’t even comment on this category because there’s nothing you can say to even slightly dissuade me. If you do, I will seriously edit your post to say something bigoted, stupid, homosexual, and most likely, embarrassing.
• Subject E (the “hey-look-at-me-guys” idiot): This is the kind of idiot that does stupid shit to impress friends and women (yes, women, because most of these types of idiots are men). He will act stupid not even for humor effect, but just for his image. This is done to compensate for lack of intellect/personality/humor/interest.
• Subject G (the “I-didn’t-realize-F-was-missing” idiot): Self-explanatory.
• Subject H (the “I’m-a-stupid-bitch” idiot): These are almost exclusively women. They have stupid bullshit facts, beliefs, and opinions that they think are true due to their bias from religion/personal experience/ Oprah/ astrology/ media. You especially see one during debates. She would stand up and babble non-stop about Greenpeace/ abortions/fate/super-natural experiences/superstitions/etc. bullshit. No matter how much the teacher (and everyone else for that matter) is trying to shut her the hell up, she won’t shut her trap.
• Subject I (the idiot): This man will always try to sound smart and entail false facts into conversation to persuade the listener (usually Subject A, or Subject D if the man is a pederast). He will always think he is right, but whenever someone calls his banter, he eats his own bullshit. Many of the previous categories fall into this category as well.

Again, I cannot continue this article, because I need to go sleep. All I am trying to say is that, yes, Myrna, “gRamE12″ is a sign of intellect and if you can’t follow simple English directions taught from kindergarten, then you probably shouldn’t be doing IB, practicing freedom of speech, breathing, or have access to the Internet. Also, yes, most likely, you are an idiot. If I ever do meet you, I will make you a gift–a box full of condoms, so as to do a beneficiary act to natural selection so you won’t procure more idiots into this already stupid world.