• That’s right boys, i am talking about rap. The crapiest genre of music in the world. Don’t believe me? Add “c” to rap and you will see. Rap started out as a way of introducing free verse poetry into music; a way to show one’s frustration, angst, and love in rhyming poetry to a beat. What the fuck happened as of the late 90’s? I don’t know. Where is RunDMC? Where’s TuPac? Where’s BIGGY? Where’s normal, cool sounding rap of the 80’s? I mean when did it start to be okay to start talking about how much money you are making and how much gangsters you kill? Fuckheads like Jay-Z, 50 CENT, G-UNIT, Nelly, Usher, Lil’ [insert dipshit innocent sounding noun] entered the stage and basically are blatantly saying, “Hey dumbass, buy my album so i can buy more 24K gold, 5 kgs of platinum, and a truckload of diamonds!” And i can’t believe that people are buying into this crap! “Yo niggaz, look ate me! I iz pimpin’ wid my Timberlans’, and fake jewerly!” Jewerly is for chiks and pussies. End of story. Just look at a goddamn video of the rap ‘artists” (i am using the word artists very loosely here.) It’s basically an ugly black dude, with 20 other ugly black dudes with XXXXL basketball jerseys and enough gold and diamonds to feed Rwanda for 30 years, dancing around hot black chiks in bikinis. This all of course takes place near a pool somewhere in Miami, with 7 ‘pimped out’ Escalades in the background.

• Some assholes just gave up singing all together and instead yell out inane exclamations like “Yeah,” and “Uh-huh” throughout the whole song. I wouldn’t really mind the music as long as every dipshit in the world didn’t listen to it and take it as his sole agenda. I see fucktards everywhere wear oversized jerseys and fake jewerly, speaking in the most perverted of all jargons, “Yo, bizzatches. Hou iz I so pimpen’?” How can you people seriosuly listen to this and tell me straight in the face that you actually like this music. Has anyone reading this post never hear rap? I pity your ignorance. To introduce you to this horrible banter of incoherent words and exlamations that you people call rap, i wrote my own version of a rap song. I think this will become a hit.

• Yo, Yeaaay-Uh, Lemme hear the beat, niggah,
• Yeah, yeah, yeah, es good,
• Uh-huh, Uh-huh, turn up the beat,
• I c it coming, bitch,
• Yeah, yeah yeah yeha yeha yeha.

• I roll en my Escalade,
• I see bitches all around,
• Uh-huh, yeah, hum, hum,
• I don’t need no ‘earing aid,
• My necklace weighs a pound
• Yeah, the beat is good,
• Put it up a bit
• Good

• Look at my 70 inch rims,
• I roll by and pop caps into my niggaz,
• I am the biggest pimp in the town,
• I pay da cops and they don’t tocuh me,
• Uh-huh, yeah, yey, hsi, ajdas, adh

• Yo, Yeaaay-Uh, Lemme hear the beat, niggah,
• Yeah, yeah, yeah, es good,
• Uh-huh, Uh-huh, turn up the beat,
• I c it coming, bitch,
• Yeah, yeah yeah yeha yeha yeha.

• My money is big,
• I smoke weed,
• I eat like a pig,
• I still can’t read.
• Uh-Huh, Yeah, Yey, Pooms,

• My pool is made of crystal,
• I am a poor boy from the streets,
• Although i grew up in Wisconsin subburbs,
• I have a small penis,
• Uh-huh, buy my album
• BITCH, Bitch, Bitch, Yeah

Some say I was born in Shymkent, Kazakhstan. My parents say I was born in Thailand. Many say I’m actually Japanese. Shopping for a flag on ebay to put up in my room wasn’t easy, so I got all three. Now what I need is an Alfa Roulette machine. And the midget. Блядь, когда будете мне отпровлять мои семечки а?

John was born in January 1, 1985. Ten years later, John met his first love. Her name was Sally. John was still in second grade because, well, trying to achieve something is for the weak. Anwyays, he was out  in MacDonald’s after just winning his boxing match with a brick wall when he saw a hot chik sitting by the window. She was a hot blond with huge knockers and a great ass. She looked about 18. He went over to he and said "Eehh." She looked over to him in a bitchy manner. He stared her in the eyes (he wasn’t as he cool as he is now, but was still cooler than any man alive). She noticed his good looks and a cold, cool air off him, but since he was like 8 years younger than her, she said in a bitchy manner "wwwhhhhat?" to cover for he lack of personality. He fixed his fingers in a gun style, pointed at her, and said "Booyah." She was sucking him off later that minute in the bathroom. By this time, it was John’s 3,333,333rd bj. So, to commemorate this celebration, he forced himself to fall in love. It was good for 2 seconds. She was later found that evening with a giant red penis-shaped bruise on her cheek lying in a ditch, 3 kilometers away from the MacDonald’s. John still chuckles at this.

    By the way guys, check out  4q.cc.  It’s an awesome site.