Man, i hate quotes. You know those stupid ass one-liners that are supposed to completely cover the spectre of human knowlege in five Latin words? yes, those things. I hate them. I even hate the dipshits that always use them. "OOOOooohhh look! i said ‘dolce un parrabellum,’ i am soo fucking smart now!" What the hell is wrong with people. I ahte quotes so much. Stupid dumbasses try to say something smart but just decide to take someone else’s smart idea, instead of saying the idea themselves. And the quotes are usually not smart at all. They are just gay ass open-ended statements that make no sense, but everyone glorifies them in order to not look like a dipshits that they are, but still do anyways. Preferably, have the quote in Latin so you sound smart. Latin? What the fuck? A dead language that no one uses and never will! It is useless and people that like it or study it are dipshits! There are 400 extinct languages out there, and one is lost every 2 weeks! Why don’t you assholes learn those languages? Fucking dipshits. Let me hear you say something inspiring about life in Uannaggi. However, people can use quotes in order to pass papers or sound more smart which is cool with me because i do it in my papers, but otherwise, stop it. It’s annoying and everything hates it. It’s not like people read the quote and go, "wow, that was so inspiring. i will aspire to become a better person and completely revolutionize my life." XAnga users and any other profiles or resumes need to stop having the dipshit quotes! At least, credit the person that came up with a line that you could have never said yourself. You bastards are just stealing other people’s work! I here, compile a list of quotes that one can and is encouraged to say all the time:

    "Harder than a priest at a playground," Maddox

    "every argument or debate can be settled with a roundhouse kick to the solar plexus" me.

    "It’s not rice krispies," some weird porno dude.

    "my girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she’s reading," Emo Phillips

    "Ssnn-n-n-n-n-NAP!" gay skateboarding video, (this word is usually followed by a finger snap).

    "ya zhok," Ben.

    "K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k–k-k-k-KOCK!" Faraz (be ready to get punched in the jugular).

    "Eiih! geth dah seizures!"  Shinny

    "Shit in a backpack," Shinny

    "Son of a piss of a shit," Shinny.

    "put it in your mouth–it’s warm there," Yernur.

    "what do you mean you pissed on the tissue?" Danik

    "YEEYY–AHHHH!" us.

    "No really man, all the famous and cool people get their balls stamped," arm.

    And finally, the greatest "one-hit-wonder" poem that will remian forever in our hearts, by danik:

    "Flutter, flutter, in the sky.

    I like butter,

    Who am I?"
 

Salam Suki!

Davi napischim na ruskam. Blat, moi ruski mne usche sayebal, 4esna!

V4era zhan i ya byli v ramstore v Il Patio. A snaesch kto mi videl? Arm, Shinny, pomnite Olga? Olga, etat babka katoraya davno nazad rabotal v Rostiks! A mi ey ne tolko videli, net, ona schas MANAGER! vschera byila heaven! V patio tam bil HMC is Olga. Blat, kruto!

Nu da, escho…Aselbeck atot suka prodal emu blatzi audi. T4o eto sa chuinya? Kto mne schas vasit v Alfa? I Arman, etot Pider, emu machina palmal. Vse chuynia. Karo4e….cho echo…….ahhh…Riemens Suka, no etot ni4o novi.

V4era men silno v roulette sayebal. Tam blat vigral gdeta 50k i zhan etot suka chotel tscho ya stelal Super Surround. Sdelal i 30 min posche 50k bolsche ne bil. No, vse ravno, zhan dolg ot dal.

ya dratschit poschol!

Poka! 

No, i will not translate this shit into english…viki…and all our International Fans! 

By the way, for those of you who have posting rights on this site check out the new posting interface. You’ll be amazed!  

(thanks Mike)

Zhan….you have a LOT to learn.

• 1. Argue with everybody.
• 2. Touch the paintings at the museum.
• 3. Get hysterical.
• 4. Threaten law suits.
• 5. Insinuate, implicate and insist.
• 6. If you got it, flaunt it.
• 7. Eat products at the grocery store and don’t pay for it.
• 8. Gamble with the rent money.
• 9. Record over a borrowed vcr tape
• 10. Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren’t.
• 11. Don’t get caught.
• 12. Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances.
• 13. When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two.
• 14. Don’t make up your mind.
• 15. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air.
• 16. Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder.
• 17. Talk with your mouth full.
• 18. Accuse, confuse and refuse.
• 19. Comment on the weight gain of others.
• 20. Adjust your nuts (boo whenever you want).
• 21. Keep a pile of wisecracks for tense and serious situations.
• 22. Answer a question with a question.
• 23. See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.
• 24. Don’t give to charities unless you get something back.
• 25. Add the straw that breaks the camels back.
• 26. Clean your finger nails at the dinner table.
• 27. Tell people what they think they wanna hear.
• 28. Notice good ideas and pass them on as your own.
• 29. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner or hotel reservations.
• 30. Don’t volunteer for the back seat and never take the middle one.
• 31. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons.
• 32. Never do anything until you have been asked twice.
• 33. Put off until tomorrow whatever you can do the day after tomorrow.
• 34. Spot test “Wet Paint” signs.
• 35. Go up on the down escalator and vice versa.
• 36. Dont shower after a hard workout.
• 37. Lie about your age.
• 38. Change channels every two seconds
• 39. Develop at least 3 strategies for cutting if front of a
• 40. Underline in other peoples books.
• 41. Slurp your soup.
• 42. If you can’t think of something nice, say something nasty.
• 43. Be judgmental.
• 44. Announce when your going to the bathroom.
• 45. Read over peoples shoulders on the bus.
• 46. Ignore deadlines.
• 47. Revenge is sweet… so get some.
• 48. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while your at it, leave the cap off.
• 49. Curse the umpire at a Little League game.
• 50. When it says “Reserved Parking” that means you.
• 51. Take the labels off of unopened cans.
• 52. Cover up your mistakes and pass the blame.
• 53. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one that you want.
• 54. Borrow handkerchiefs to blow your nose.
• 55. When your done with your gum, stick it under the chair.
• 56. If you do something nice, make sure everyone knows about it.
• 57. Bribe little kids… cause they’re easy!
• 58. Put a rude message on someone elses answering machine.
• 59. Measure people by their money and the clothes they wear.
• 60. Be ambiguous, it lets you work both sides of the issue.
• 61. Leave your underwear in the sink.
• 62. Chew other peoples pencils.
• 63. Support the death penalty for parking tickets.
• 64. Get a backseat drivers license.
• 65. Dish it out, but don’t take it.
• 66. Be a perfectionist in absolutely everything.
• 67. Apologize a lot, but don’t change.
• 68. Change the rules to suit your needs.
• 69. Put your cigarette out in planters.
• 70. Wear a shirt thats says ‘**** You’ or to that affect.
• 71. Pull the covers over to your side.
• 72. Eat cookies or crackers in bed.
• 73. Let doors slam behind you ? in people’s faces.
• 74. Repeat yourself.
• 75. Repeat yourself.
• 76. Tell your kids ‘How it was..’ back when you were a kid.
• 77. Vividly describe a hysterectomy to your date before ordering dinner.
• 78. Scribble your signature on important documents.
• 79. Use the whole can of starter fluid on the charcoal.
• 80. Put things back where they don’t belong.
• 81. Take a colicky baby to the movies.
• 82. Have belching contests in restaurants.
• 83. Make the same mistake twice.
• 84. Pee in the swimming pool.
• 85. Ride on the shoulder un you pass all the jammed traffic, and then cut in.
• 86. Wear a large hat to the movies.
• 87. Always have an ulterior motive.
• 88. Always take the biggest piece.
• 89. Forget the pooper scooper when walking your dog.
• 90. Take cheap shots.
• 91. Take forever to find a word in Scrabble.
• 92. Cause gridlock.
• 93. Get up on the wrong side of bed.
• 94. Change your mind.
• 95. Glue a chip on your shoulder.
• 96. Put salt in sugar containers.
• 97. Blow out other peoples birthday candles.
• 98. Don’t refill the ice cube tray.
• 99. Ask people what they paid for their clothes.
• 100. Cut off people in the middle of their sentences.
• 101. Practice pulling the wool over people’s faces.